date: Saturday, July 16, 2005 @ 9:56 am
title: Hair..
Confidential
Property of National Hair Foundation (Singapore)
Doctor's report on 16th July 2005, 1013hrsPatient: ZHan KRe:First strain of armpit hair spotted
Date: 13th, July 2005
Time: approximately 7.30 pm
Location A: right armpit.
Location B: patient's home while watching a hair rejuvenating advertisement. (For address please refer to the attached Appendix A. Page 32. Phrase 3.4.5)
Length: approximately 3 cm.
Amount: countable. one.
Colour: faint black.
Remarks(Last 36 hours):
a high possiblilty of falling off after NAFA 2.4 run with vigorous circular movement under the shoulder blade. The tendency of salvation is not appilcable to current uncertain situation.
Currently, under intensive care unit to prevent any bacteria infection if the sweat particles are caught by the hair. Special attention needed for the next 36 hours until the submission of CAT scan report. If there is found of no possible threat, discharge procedure can be accessed.
Frequent checkup is greatly encouraged to montior the growth and the lifespan. Practice of discretion is needed to maintain the growth and prevent any externality of weakening the rejuventation.
Patient(Last 36 hours):
Mentally unstable due to his unbelief of the sprouting of his first armpit hair. Currently going throught the the Stage one of Refusal Rejection Relief cycle (3R).
Immediate attention and support from relatives and close friends is recommended to assist the patient to accept his condition and be prepare for unforeseen circumstances that might put his hair on the verge of extinction.
Self-abuse is commonly seen when patient is left alone with intensive abrasion markings at the armpit for the last 36 hours.
REMARK(LAST 46 HOURS):
1015hrs
PATIENT ON THE LOSE!! CODE RED!! HIGHEST NATIONAL SECURITY!!
1016hrs
PLEASE INFORM NATIONAL HAIR FOUNDATION WHEN SPOTTED!!
1017 hrs
DO NOT! I REPEAT! DO NOT ENGAGE ANY FORM OF INTERACTION WITH THE PATIENT!! STAY 50 M RADUIS FROM HIM.
1025 hrs
DEAD COUNT EVELATED TO NATIONAL HIGHEST - UNCOUNTABLE.
1030hrs
CEO OF NHF ADDRESSED THE PUBLIC TO REASSURE THEM OF THE SITUATION.
1031hrs
HEALTH MINISTER IMPOSED A NATION-WIDE CREWFEW AND NATION CONSENSUS TO REMAIN SOUND IN ALL ACTIONS TAKEN.
1035hrs
ANTI-SPAWN BLOCKADE ISSUED.
1037hrs
ANTI-SPAWN UNIT (APU) IS DISCHARGED TO ENGAGE WITH PATIENT AFTER 20 MINUTES AFTER THE OUTBREAK.
1038hrs
LOST COMMUNICATION WITH THE APU.
Confidential
Property of National Hair Foundation (Singapore)
Copyright 2005 NHF. All Rights Reserved.